You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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