all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
it's great music for shaving your balls
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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