Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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