I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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