I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
