wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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