He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I'm bleeding and have questions
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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