billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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