Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
That's when you crack a 10am beer
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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