YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Green mimosas i think yes
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
