Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
how do flat chested girls get laid?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
