he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
