She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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