Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
