my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize