Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
