I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
