that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
