just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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