Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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