I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I just want nice things and good sex
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
