Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
