ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize