did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
