the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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