...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
