Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
