would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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