I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
