we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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