I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
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