All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
