WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
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