There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
