I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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