she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
