How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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