let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
