Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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