He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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