why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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