At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
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You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
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I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Panties = found
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