no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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