Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Green mimosas i think yes
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Randomize
