$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I want to fling myself into the sun
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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