Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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