we're blogging at a bar
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
