i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
A bitchslap is in order.
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