in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
