she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
