are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Randomize
