If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
