Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
