his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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