just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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