I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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