i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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