Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
