Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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