why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
zippers are such a cool invention
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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