not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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