U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
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