I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
