My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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