Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
