Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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