I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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