DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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