After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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